I want to talk to you about taking the first step, which a lot of times, is the hardest step to take. I was coaching one of my clients this weekend and it inspired me to write this article. I wanted to share this concept with you because what we discussed is very important and it can make the difference between your success and failure.
We discussed some powerful ideas that when you embrace them can quickly help you get ‘unstuck’ and overcome feelings of depression and anxiety. Depending on the scope of the problem, meaning how big it is and how long you been dealing with it; also what area of life it’s affecting whether it’s your career, your relationship, or your health and fitness, sometimes it can tend to feel more impactful or feel like a bigger problem. In turn that makes taking the first step the hardest to understand and execute.
“Unfortunately there’s no solution for the solution!” That’s something I share with my clients a lot because sometimes we get the solution we need or steps to solve our problem but we don’t know how to overcome this feeling of being stuck or overwhelmed or not motivated to begin.
I get a lot of calls from my clients and different people saying I can’t get motivated to take the first step. I know what I need to do, but I can’t do it. Sometimes our minds can even conceptualize what needs to be done but it’s hard to execute the actions; like knowing what the answer is but where do I start? Where do I begin?
And by the way, I think this is probably the biggest point that I’m going to make today; You know I’m a life coach. I’m a business coach and I’m a therapist. I’ve been learning these concepts and studying behavior and communication and psychology for my entire life. And of course, I talk about this stuff all the time. I’ve trained for many years and I’ve spent a lot of money reading books, going to seminars, licensing, certifications etc.
But I want you know, when I have a problem or challenge in my life…it’s the same for me as it is for you! It’s the same for everybody!
But here’s the key.
And you don’t have to be a coach and don’t have to be a therapist or a psychologist to make this difference. And again, there’s no solution for this solution, if you know what you have to do, you have to do it. There’s not someone or something that’s going to come in and be able to give you the steps to get started before you do this work. You have to make a promise to yourself. You have to commit to doing this and trust me, you will start seeing better results. And listen, I know It’s hard when you have something that’s stressing you out or depressing you. Let’s say you have a problem with your relationship and you’re emotionally overwhelmed and emotionally drained. Maybe you’ve been maybe betrayed or lied to or you’re hurt or you have doubts and fears that the person you’re with isn’t communicating with you or is angry or abusing you verbally or even physically. Maybe your struggling in your career, constantly to try to get ahead and with no one supporting you, and your managers and bosses just keep telling you to work harder but they’re not provided you with real training or the support you need. You may be dealing with a health scare. Your doctor might have just told you that you have to change your diet and nutrition and start exercising or things are going to get worse. So you’re highly emotional and “think what do I do?”
Here is the key; this is how you’re able to take the first step. It’s a simple step and it just takes commitment.
You have to commit to the process and make a promise to yourself. It’s a manufactured process meaning you have to work hard at it at the beginning and then it will start to take hold and you’ll gain momentum and soon it will become a habit. The way you start is to promise yourself that every time you’re feeling negative, every time you’re perceiving the world as negative externality, (you know what I mean, saying and thinking this person is doing this to me or it’s because of this and you’re blaming outside yourself) anytime you’re feeling angry or an emotion that is making you shut down. Or when you’re experiencing negative self-talk. You have stop it and turn it around!
Here’s how: Instantly in the moment, you have to scratch the record or cut the loop. It starts with a loop of negativity in your mind. You need to stop the loop and replace it with a positive thought. I like to call these mantras. The mantra should be simple, easy to remember and impactful. Something like “I love myself and every day I’m getting better!” or “I love myself and every day I’m improving!” That’s it. But you have to take action and commit to doing this every time you are feeling low.
The instant the negativity comes in, you have to STOP! Take a breathe and recite your mantra to yourself. Say it over and over to reinforce it in your mind.
So the next time you wake up and you aren’t feeling good and you start to tell yourself that you aren’t good enough or that you can’t make it today or
you’re not motivated or you’re stressed about finances or your relationship…STOP….take a breathe and recite your mantra. “I’m successful everyday at everything I do and I’m always getting better!” or “I love myself everyday and every day I get better!” whatever you decide to use for your mantra, make sure it inspires you and makes you feel better.
It’s important to understand, it’s going to take time to work. You have to commit to doing the process over and over again. And the more you use it, the better it will work. Just like going to the gym. You can’t show up once and expect to lose 20 lbs. and be done. But when you commit, the results will come and you will feel better and have a better quality of life.
Now you may be thinking that this will be challenging to do and that’s ok but as I said at the beginning of this article, theres no solution for the solution. As some point to have to commit to taking action to see better results. The good news is that this is very low effort for high returns. And you will notice improvements quickly. I suggest not only doing this when you are feeling low but practice saying your mantra all the time. Wake up and say it. Before you go to bed say it. Say it whenever you want a boost of energy or an attitude adjustment and it will reinforce the gains.
I wish you the best and I hope this little tip can help you find solace from your problems and soon guide you to happier days!
Brett Baughman is a professional NLP life and business coach. He is the creator of The Ideal You® program.
For more information about his services please visit www.brettbaughman.com or schedule a free consultation here